The I Factor™

Simple Insights for Connecting in Your Personal Relationships

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Ladies: Have You Had Your Emotional Awakening Yet?

June 6, 2013 |

Have You Had Your Emotional Awakening Yet?by Paul N. Weinberg

Several years ago at dinner, a close female friend was telling me about her boyfriend of four years, how much she liked him, what a good guy he was, how well they got along, and that they never fought. “Do you think the two of you connect emotionally?” I asked. A puzzled look, a pause, and then she said with a smile, “I’m not sure what that means, so I guess not.” Four weeks later, she called to say she had broken up with him. “But you were telling me at dinner what a great relationship you had,” I said. Her reply: “One morning I woke up and realized we were just roommates, that he didn’t have a clue who I was. So I left.”

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Why Women Hang in There With the Wrong Guys

May 22, 2013 |

Why Women Hang in There With the Wrong Guysby Paul N. Weinberg

Many women spend far too long trying to figure out if they should continue to date a man. And they hang in there long after it’s clear to them and everyone else that they’re with the wrong guy and in the wrong relationship.

Why is this?

They offer all sorts of reasons for staying with the guy they’re dating, but mostly they want to “give him a chance” and are “waiting for him to come around.”

Let’s look at some of the most common reasons and see why they’re not particularly good ones:

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Personal Connections in the Age of Social Media

May 13, 2013 |

Personal Connections in the Age of Social Mediaby Paul N. Weinberg

We live in a wired world – and a weird time. Not a day goes by that we don’t read an article about how social media and interrupt overload are having a detrimental effect on our personal relationships, rewiring our brains to look like those of cocaine addicts.

It’s an age of unprecedented 24/7 connection, in which Facebook, email, text messaging and other forms of electronic communication have us instantly connected to anyone and everyone around us. And yet, many of us are also experiencing a profound and pervasive sense of isolation and disconnectedness. We skate along the surface of our relationships, having swapped quantity for quality and frequency for depth.

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How to Lose a Guy in Three Dates

May 10, 2013 |

How to Lose a Guy in Three Datesby Paul N. Weinberg

Before I was married, I spent most of my time being single between relationships, and those relationships tended to be extremely short. It’s not that I liked being single, but rather that I knew what I wanted and preferred to be alone rather than in a relationship with the wrong person.

And it’s not that I was particularly good at being single. I went out on a lot of dates but couldn’t pretend to be interested after I knew it wasn’t going to work out long term. So I went out on a lot of first and second dates, but rarely was I – or the woman – interested in going out a third time. I was the two-date king.

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IndieReader – The I Factor Review

February 21, 2013 |

IndieReader  – The I Factor ReviewVerdict: A nontraditional self-help book on how to develop and maintain intimacy in love relationships, friendships and interactions with family.

Authors Paul N. Weinberg and Dr. Susan A. Dyer’s “how to” on building healthy relationships begins with an interesting introduction. On barely more than a page, the authors discuss their motivations for writing the book and what they hope their readers can gain from it.

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Keith Ferrazzi – Building Intimacy in Business and in Life

February 20, 2013 |

Keith Ferrazzi – Building Intimacy in Business and in LifePaul N. Weinberg, co-author of The I Factor, shares his insights into building intimacy in relationships in this guest blog post.

Why, as a complete departure from anything I’ve done professionally, did I co-author a book about intimacy and connection in relationships? Despite my accomplishments, I believe I would have been more successful – and more fulfilled as a human being – if I had learned earlier in life how to build and maintain personal connections, both personally and in business. I’ve come to understand that success and satisfaction are all about authentic personal connection and that there’s a direct correlation between personal relationships and professional success.

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Ask Miss A – The I Factor Review

February 14, 2013 |

Ask Miss A  – The I Factor ReviewMaybe you have found the one. Maybe you haven’t. Maybe you just want to be happy. Relationships are not easy, whether you are married, dating, or single. What we all crave, I believe, is to feel understood and loved. The I Factor is full of wisdom about how to forge meaningful connections in short, easy to read guides. What better book to share with your partner or a friend on Valentine’s Day to help someone maintain a strong bond or move towards a deeper connection?

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New York Magazine – Has the Online Dating Backlash Arrived?

January 4, 2013 |

NY MagazineThose who remember dating before the age of text message tend to agree. After reentering the dating scene in their middle age, ex-husband and -wife Paul N. Weinberg and Dr. Susan Dyer reunited to author The I Factor, a book about what they feel has been lost with the rise of social media — the feeling that you actually knew someone — and how to get it back. (The “I” stands for intimacy.) “The explanation for this seeming contradiction of isolation and disconnectedness in a massively interconnected world is that most of us have never learned — or seem to have forgotten — how to connect or even what it means to connect on a fundamental level,” they write.

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Dirty and Thirty – How Do You Know?

December 24, 2012 |

Dirty and Thirty  – How Do You Know?by Paul N. Weinberg

In my last column, I mentioned a friend who had been dating a guy for months and yet had no idea if they were in an exclusive sexual relationship because they had never talked about it and she was afraid to ask.

Another friend was recently dating a guy for over a month before learning that he just wanted to hang out and wasn’t interested in having a relationship because they had never talked about it and she never thought to ask.

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Dirty and Thirty – He’s Just Not That Into You

December 17, 2012 |

Dirty and Thirty  – He's Just Not That Into Youby Paul N. Weinberg

How often have I heard a woman say, “I’m giving him another chance” about a guy who has betrayed her trust by cheating on her. I’m still surprised by how many times a typical woman will go back even after the guy proves to her again and again that he is not trustworthy.

True, everyone deserves a second chance. But not third, fourth and fifth chances. As the old saying goes, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” Unfortunately, giving a guy too many chances sends the message that he can walk all over you, and almost always has less to do with a woman’s forgiveness and more to do with her low self-esteem and not believing in herself enough to know that she deserves to be treated with respect.

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ChristieOhh – Celebrity Relationship Expert Weighs in on Celeb Couples

December 14, 2012 |

ChristieOhh  – Celebrity Relationship Expert Weighs in on Celeb CouplesChristieOhh: What does it take to keep a “happy” celebrity relationship?

Paul: Well… there are two things. One: celebrity relationships are like any other relationship; they need time to nurture and grow. Couples need time together and privacy. And two: they must have a sense of stability and certainty. It has to be an authentic relationship not a business decision. For example Kristen Stewart’s public apology to Robert Pattinson had nothing to do with sincerely wanting to apologize. It was a strategic PR maneuver.

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Huffington Post – Author Explores Social Media and Relationships

December 13, 2012 |

Huffington Post  – Author Explores Social Media and RelationshipsI recently had the opportunity to pore through Paul N. Weinberg’s latest book, The I Factor. In the book, written with his ex-wife, clinical psychologist Dr. Susan Dyer, Weinberg thoroughly explores the affects social media has on various forms of relationships.

While social media continues to boom, Weinberg cautions us about totally relying too heavily on virtual relationships to foster meaningful relationships. Ultimately Weinberg suggests such relationships can leave us feeling lonely if solely relied upon.

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Dirty and Thirty – How to Lose a Guy in Three Dates

December 10, 2012 |

Dirty and Thirty  – How to Lose a Guy in Three Datesby Paul N. Weinberg

Before I was married, I spent most of my time being single between relationships, and those relationships tended to be extremely short. It’s not that I liked being single, but rather that I knew what I wanted and preferred to be alone rather than in a relationship with the wrong person.

And it’s not that I was particularly good at being single. I went out on a lot of dates but couldn’t pretend to be interested after I knew it wasn’t going to work out long term. So I went out on a lot of first and second dates, but rarely was I – or the woman – interested in going out a third time. I was the two-date king.

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Beverly Hills Times – A Wired World

December 7, 2012 |

Beverly Hills Times  – A Wired Worldby Paul N. Weinberg

In the late 1990s, my dating experiences in Los Angeles inspired my desire to write a book on intimacy and connection in personal relationships. I never could have imagined then how the world would change, and with the advent of social media, how relevant the subject would become…

Fast forward to 2012. We live in a wired world – and a weird time. Not a day goes by that we don’t read an article about how social media and interrupt overload are having a detrimental effect on our personal relationships, rewiring our brains to look like those of cocaine addicts.

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Dirty and Thirty – How to Find an Emotional Connection

December 3, 2012 |

Dirty and Thirty  – How to Find an Emotional Connectionby Paul N. Weinberg

In my post titled Why Women Hang In There With the Wrong Guys, I examined many of the reasons women stay in a relationship with the wrong guy.

What I left out is that the real reason women hang in there is that they can’t quite put their finger on the one thing that’s missing, which represents the best reason to leave the relationship.

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Dirty and Thirty – Emotional Awakenings

November 26, 2012 |

Dirty and Thirty – Emotional Awakeningsby Paul N. Weinberg

Several years ago at dinner, a close female friend was telling me about her boyfriend of four years, how much she liked him, what a good guy he was, how well they got along, and that they never fought. “Do you think the two of you connect emotionally,” I asked. A puzzled look, a pause, and then she said with a smile, “I’m not sure what that means, so I guess not.” Four weeks later, she called to say she had broken up with him. “But you were telling me at dinner what a great relationship you had,” I said. Her reply: “One morning I woke up and realized we were just roommates, that he didn’t have a clue who I was. So I left.”

View full post »

Dirty and Thirty – Why Women Hang in There With the Wrong Guys

November 19, 2012 |

Dirty and Thirty  – Why Women Hang in There With the Wrong Guysby Paul N. Weinberg

Many women spend far too long trying to figure out if they should continue to date a man. And they hang in there long after it’s clear to them and everyone else that they’re with the wrong guy and in the wrong relationship.

Why is this?

They offer all sorts of reasons for staying with the guy they’re dating but mostly they want to “give him a chance” and are “waiting for him to come around.”

View full post »

Dirty and Thirty – Connection in the Age of Social Media

November 15, 2012 |

Dirty and Thirty  – Connection in the Age of Social Mediaby Paul N. Weinberg

We live in a wired world – and a weird time. Not a day goes by that we don’t read an article about how social media and interrupt overload are having a detrimental effect on our personal relationships, rewiring our brains to look like those of cocaine addicts.

It’s an age of unprecedented 24/7 connection, in which Facebook, email, text messaging and other forms of electronic communication have us instantly connected to anyone and everyone around us. And yet, many of us are also experiencing a profound and pervasive sense of isolation and disconnectedness. We skate along the surface of our relationships, having swapped quantity for quality and frequency for depth.

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Playboy Radio – Tiffany Granath

November 7, 2012 |

Playboy Radio  – Tiffany Granath

Paul stops by Tiffany Granath’s show on Playboy Radio to talk about the difficulties with dating in Los Angeles. The conversation quickly turns personal when Tiffany brings her real-life relationship into the mix, asking Paul for his thoughts on her intimacy issues, her relationship with her husband, their relationship pattern, and ways to improve their level of intimacy.

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Miami Living – Connect More

November 6, 2012 |

Miami Living  – Connect MoreAuthors Paul N. Weinberg and Dr. Susan A. Dyer talk intimacy and connecting in their book, The I Factor.

Words by Vanessa Pascale

We live in a technologically-driven time, where our hi-tech devices play a pivotal role in our lives – navigating us to desired locations, facilitating convenient bill paying, updating us on friends’ happenings and the foods they had for brunch… you know, the important stuff. Though our smartphones and tablets are essentially helpful tools, they can also become an obsession and distraction. How often do you see people out for dinner, who should be conversing and enjoying one another’s company, buried in their phones? Look around, it’s happening. Sadly, it’s become the norm. Texting, instagraming, tweeting, facebooking, emailing – “social interaction” is rampant. But what happened to connecting with the person in front of you? Where’d the intimacy go? Why aren’t we connecting on a deeper level?

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Lipstick Sister – We Are Not All Pillow Fights and Chick Flicks

November 3, 2012 |

Lipstick Sister  – We Are Not All Pillow Fights and Chick FlicksAlthough we are a female based group, we never forget all the men who support our wonderful organization and are always there for their women.

We had the pleasure of having Paul Weinberg, the Co-author of The I Factor, who also happens to be married to one of our Lipstick Sisters come give a talk and sign copies of the book in our last event.

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Cupid’s Pulse – What’s Love Got to Do With It

November 1, 2012 |

Cupid's Pulse  – What's Love Got to Do With Itby Paul N. Weinberg

Here’s the myth: Cupid’s arrow strikes you in the heart, you fall in love and you live happily ever after.

But we all know that real life doesn’t quite work that way. A more familiar story goes like this: You meet someone. The two of you have great chemistry, and you really hit it off. You jump into a relationship and you fall in love. This seems like “the one” … except that six months or a year later, you’re no longer together and you are once again single. Now repeat until emotionally exhausted.

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Bordeaux Matchmaking – Book Signing

November 1, 2012 |

Bordeaux Matchmaking  – Book Signing

There’s nothing better than wine and a good book! Paul takes The I Factor to a Bordeaux Matchmaking event at Bagatelle in Los Angeles. After trying out different wines, guests stood in line for the chance to get an autographed copy of The I Factor and pick Paul’s brain on the importance of intimacy in all relationships.

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Sofia Vergara – The I Factor Tweet

October 24, 2012 |

Sofia Vergara  – The I Factor Tweet“With my friend Paul Weinberg, coauthor of The I Factor. Best #relationships advice. @theIfactor1” – Sofia Vergara @SofiaVergara

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Haute Living – What’s On My Desk

October 17, 2012 |

Haute Living – What's On My DeskEver wonder what the most powerful leaders, business execs and celebrities keep on their desks? Well, we’re about to tell you. Our biweekly “What’s on My Desk” feature will take a look inside the offices and at the desks of the world’s most influential power players.

Paul Weinberg is a serial entrepreneur who was the founder/principal of two software companies that he sold to Apple and SAP. He is also the published author of several best-selling books, including The Simple Solution to Rubik’s Cube, which was the best-selling book of 1981, with over six million copies sold. He currently spends his time promoting his most recent book, The I Factor, which he wrote with Dr. Susan A. Dyer, a clinical psychologist who also happens to be his ex-wife.

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Playboy Radio – Jessica Hall Show

October 10, 2012 |

Playboy Radio – Jessica Hall Show

Paul discusses intimacy during his interview with Playboy Radio hosts Jessica Hall and Kristen Rentin. Intimacy is the idea of letting someone see you naked emotionally, and you build emotional connections by completely revealing yourself; the good, the bad, and the ugly. The good news for romantic relationships is that the more you build the emotional connection with your partner, the better the sexual connection will be.

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Business Rockstars

October 2, 2012 |

Business Rockstars

Paul Weinberg joins Ken Rutkowski on his daily radio show, Business Rockstars, to discuss how being able to form meaningful relationships, where people truly care for you and root for your success, is vital to succeeding in business. Paul shares stories from his own career, emphasizing that people do business with people they like and that opportunities arise based on this network of associates.

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Deepak Chopra – What is The I Factor

August 8, 2012 |

Deepak Chopra - What is The I Factorby Paul N. Weinberg and Dr. Susan A. Dyer

Emotional intimacy is an age-old concept that is under assault and facing all sorts of modern challenges.

Not a day goes by that we don’t read an article about how social media and interrupt overload are having a detrimental effect on our personal relationships, rewiring our brains to look like those of cocaine addicts. Meanwhile, despite living in an age of unprecedented 24/7 connection, in which Facebook, email, text messaging and other forms of electronic communication have us instantly connected to anyone and everyone around us, many of us are also experiencing a profound and pervasive sense of isolation and disconnectedness. We skate along the surface of our relationships, having swapped quantity for quality and frequency for depth.

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Us Weekly – What Kristen’s Apology Means

August 1, 2012 |

Us Weekly - What Kristen's Apology MeansIf Stewart fessed up only because she got caught, does it count? “Confessing in advance is the right thing to do,” says relationship expert Paul N. Weinberg, adding that Stewart’s public apology won’t win over Pattinson. “It won’t heal the relationship but will repair her image with her fans.” PR exec Liam Collopy agrees: “Kristen’s words gave candid insights into how she was feeling.”

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  • The Authors

    Paul N. Weinberg and Dr. Susan A. Dyer are an ex-husband and wife who, over the course of nearly twenty-five years... Read more »
  • Reader Reviews

    • Just finished The I Factor and loved it! Everybody go buy two books, read one yourself and keep it around, and give the other one ...